Monday 3 October 2016

How has Motherhood changed me

by Priyanka Chauhan


Motherhood is rightly called the second birth for a woman. I found myself born again with a fresh perspective to understand the world around me differently. Pregnancy brought me closer to life. My baby right from the time when he was in my womb taught me innumerable lessons. And I was thinking the onus of teaching him will be on me. How amateur I was in my understanding of this whole phenomenon. I have to admit though, that I took to motherhood as fish to water. I have changed for the better in following ways:

1. Cautious about diet-When I came to know about my pregnancy, I made a conscious decision to eat right. Avoided junk food. Included fresh produce, green leafy in my diet. I would google even if I were to have radish. First pregnancy tends to make you doubtful of everything you do or have. A stamp is always needed on all your actions. That's what happened with me. After careful analysis of the food, it would be palatable for me. The fact I was responsible for a life within me made me a good reader, researcher and analytical woman. Not that I was not before. The whole experience refined my existing set of qualities.

2. Think right-Think right was as important as eating was. All my thoughts will affect my baby. This thought was recurrent. Sometimes, it even caused me stress. As hormones took me on a roller-coaster ride of extreme emotions. I tried hard to keep close to this idea of maintaining positive aura. At times, I was a wreck. I would sob inconsolably. My baby reminded me of his presence and I would mellow down. Insecurities plagued me but I knew somewhere that it can't be that bad. Good things will surely happen once my baby is out.

3. Put others' need before myself-In this competitive race to achieve more, taste success and live for future, I had forgotten to acknowledge my brethren. It was always about me, my goals, my happiness and my life. With my baby's arrival, that me has been replaced with him. I think more about his comfort, his life, his activities, his smile and his aura. A remarkable lesson in the dissolution of the label 'Me' putting me back to my original essence of being- a soul. I looked at him like another soul whose needs are my responsibility.

4. Present moment- My baby taught me a valuable lesson that present is all we have. I knew this concept even before. However, the lived it after my son's birth. Day in day out, as I watched him grow, I grew myself. I was in present observing and chuckling at his growth milestones. Truly rooted in the present moment. Even if my mind meandered into past to future, my son's smile was enough to bring me back.

5. Understood my mother better- I also understood how difficult it must have been for my mother to raise three kids. Having been there and done that, I have an idea of the depth of challenges she must have faced at her time. Though, I can never match up to her candor and excellence. I try, nonetheless. My mother has been a solemn picture of patience, perseverance, unconditional love, sacrifice, a steadfast support through all the downs of my life. I could not be even half as good as she is. I will try. Ordeals of her life will serve as a guidepost for me.

6. The child in me came alive-My son is primarily a potent force for bringing me in touch with the child in me. A lost child who had forgotten what it is to live, laugh at the most silly things, and smile when there are no reasons to.His expressions, sounds and most of all, reactions are invaluable. His first reaction to chocolate, ice-cream, animal sounds, story-telling...to every new thing I  introduced him to is a lesson on originality of expression, simplicity. It is no less than reading a thriller novel. I engaged, enticed and enrapt in his theatrics all day long, Needless to say, I love it to the core.

7. Understanding of time is better- I have covered the period of pregnancy to motherhood in the last year-and-a-half. However, it feels the whole phase was like a nth portion of a nano second. Time flew past rapidly leaving behind memories. The whole control was in the hands of God. I was just the medium to be that time and space. In retrospect, I feel I have lived thousand lifetimes post motherhood.

8. Slowed down-I had been on the wheels, God knows since when. Forever competing to achieve, gain knowledge, read, write, engage with the outside world, learn its cruel lessons hard way. Fall then again rise, the incessant cycle of emotions wrestling with practicality of life all this made my life. I never knew what it would be like to Pause. Pause again. To sit and observe new life. How much enjoyable it will be to hold his little hands in mine and revel in that marvellous moment. Eureka! Yes, even as one would observe the slowest hours of one's life. Yet, remarkable in its own way to work upon the magig of slowing down.

9. Not Materialistic anymore- For someone who was always abreast with the latest in fashion, food, cinema, living life with minimalism was a natural adoption. My only requirements were food, shelter and home. I didn't desire anything else in this world. What I had with me was invaluable-my son. No object could have given me a sense of satisfaction which merely looking at my baby did.

10. Love for other children-I was never so considerate and sensitive towards other children as I am now. Thanks to my baby. I have found that soft corner hidden within me which was unexplored till this day. It was a natural evolution and I adopted all these changes readily. Motherhood constructs a pararell Universe which is beautiful.









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