Monday 5 January 2009

Recession’s invisible aspect

A slowed economy and on top of that the craving for money have stifled the social scene, besides endangering the growth of interpersonal relationships



"If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself alone.
-- Samuel Johnson

A few incidents of late set me thinking for hours. Every time I spotted a familiar face amidst a sea of strangers, I invited a fierce cold response. I wondered over this bizarre tendency of people to overlook one’s presence, and then pretend to be engaged. An afterthought suggested that the trend of ignoring acquaintances hasn’t come out of a blue moon. It has been there just like the economic meltdown.

While recession received worldwide attention, the phenomenon’s social fallout didn’t get a worthy response. The same social ties which were once a source of comfort-during crisis- have lost all sense of community today. In the 21st century, aloofness and numbness is what characterizes social relationships.

A slowed economy and over that the craving for money have stifled the social scene, besides endangering the growth of interpersonal relationships. Under extra- financial pressure- due to jobs-cuts, home foreclosures or falling behind on bills- the pressures on families have reached the boiling point.

Such pressures have made financial stability almost a pre-condition to survive. Therefore, we are always busy innovating ways for generating revenues, hoping that the surplus money would help us fight better against the economic downturn. In this scenario, to ‘meet and socialise’ is at the bottom of our priority list. Few people might disagree with the argument of expecting friendly vibes from acquaintances while others won’t care. Still, it isn’t as much about sociolisation as it is about few ‘warm words’: spoken with earnestness and care by people who occupy considerable space in our lives. It’s about that lost opportunity of a slight acquaintance which could have grown into familiarity or perhaps terminated into a friendship.

Therefore, the present trend appears as a sad commentary on our growing materialistic aspirations. Our constant preoccupation with the thought of making more money hasn’t left any room for the development of social relationships. Even the developed ones are getting detached, let alone the formation of new ones. Monetary acquisitions- being the ultimate objective- are leaving behind a trail of broken and strained relationships

The age-old belief of man being a social animal stands subverted by our misplaced priorities. In a mad chase for materialistic objects, we are losing the essence of being the social creature. This complete loss of human touch and genuineness on the part of our generation comes to full circle when we encounter our loved ones; abruptly, on the busy streets.

Change- a play of time

Decades ago, if people happened to recognise a friend, they would hop and scream with extreme joy. Their heart would palpitate and a genuine expression of love would adorn their faces. That moment’s sensibility reverberated their hearts throughout the day. Like us, our ancestors also wanted to survive and make their both ends meet. However, they led a much successful and healthy social life. Unlike us, building relations was an integral part of their professional and personal discourse. Which is why, they genuinely enquired about each one’s well being, unlike artificial and forced pretensions of today.

Indeed, time has changed and so have people. Today we meet someone; the other person gets busy in devising ways to ignore our presence. Worse, the geography of our social relations rests firmly on financial stability than on social mobility. It pre-empts how good or bad, healthy or unhealthy our social life could be. For instance, a neighbour earning in six- figures will never escape the social protocols whereas a friend who helped during a crisis would surely does.

The trend’s sprawling tentacles must have touched everyone in different ways. And it seems the trend is here to stay until We- The People adopt a mature outlook to deal with the upsetting time. Fighting recession in isolation is certainly not a way out. Rather the battle can be won by the collective effort, by prioritising relationships over wealth. Leading a simple yet fulfilling life should be the mantra. Otherwise, in an attempt to dispel depression we may end up inviting more gloom.

2 comments:

Deepika said...

a nice write-up; one that leaves enough food for thought, but for some strange reasons i beg to differ!

i know that socializing is indeed imperative for our existence, but why does “self-involvement” sounds vulgar to people? Isn’t there a saying that unless you love yourself, you cannot possibly love anybody else! I’m not talking about narcissism either, for there are so many things in this world which can be harmful by over-indulgence. You can over-eat, over-drink, or even over-masturbate. You can go over the safety mark with all sorts of things!

And that thing about friends giving us a cold shoulder makes me wonder that how often we mistake casual acquaintances for “friends”, and how puerile it is on our part to expect reciprocation, and all this for the sake of civility? Honestly, I prefer aloofness, for the world’s too full of plastic smiles, and guess what its infectious too!

However, the need for adherence to basic human traits can hardly be ruled out :-D

wandering soul said...

Dear Deepika,

You are very right when you say that it is puerile on our part to expect friendliness from casual acquaintances. But there is another angle to it. What if those casual acquaintances were to metamorphose into deep relationships (not necessary life-long)? Most people hardly care about it and that’s where the problem lies. This very careless attitude has given a push ahead to the trend of ignoring people who surround us. The result: the healthy social aura no longer exists. You have rightly put it that people wear plastic smiles, therefore it becomes all the more important that we don’t identify and bracket ourselves with this category. Let’s all be genuine down to the core in all our responses and reactions and drive out the pretensions.

Secondly, self-involvement doesn’t sound vulgar at all, at least that is something which my piece doesn’t suggest. I certainly don’t believe that. One can be self-involved-after all that is a choice one makes- and yet be genuine and honest towards people. If our attitude improves then this plastic aura would no longer be “infectitious”. Gradually the whole social scene would improve.

My son's birthday Gems Choco Cake (eggless)

Today is my son's fourth birthday. I don't know where the time has flown. It seems he was born just yesterday. Well, I bet all the ...