MUTABLE TRUST

                                                             

                                                                    

She was standing at the bank of an old river awaiting the break of dawn. Silent water and engulfing Nature with an endearing look seemed was her  only companion. The scenes of last night were making ripples in her mind while her reasonable mind and emotional heart painted a lone figure  appearing at loggerheads with herself in such a serene setting.

She picked up a pebble resting on the ground and threw it into the water. Gazing at her fading figure, her beautiful but teary eyes added a drop into the dreamy river amidst the commotion of birds and whispering trees. With her dwindling face on water surface, she sat down on a nearby shapeless stone lost in the web of her thoughts. Her eyes  lifted as if the eternal wait was over. And she rose up with a resolute mind and stepped ahead closer to the river. 

Her contemplation of becoming one with the peaceful river to douse the burning flame of turmoil was at its peak when her attention went to her own image moving in the rippled water. It took her to the events of the last night forcing her to reflect the incident in particular and her two-month's old marital life in retrospect.

Rida got married when she was all 20-year-old young to a man who was five years older than her. Having bred in a conservative landscape, her marriage to Rishi was like a dream fulfilled. Living in South Delhi posh locality with her only love.  She surrendered herself completely in service of him. He had won her faith and heart with his consistent love. Rishi’s perennial affections and showering of delicacies made her bosom grow fonder with time.

He grew up in Calcutta, however,  his work took him places shaping his cosmopolitan outlook . His parents did not interfere much in his son’s life and Rida’s parents who stayed in Bangalore were happy that their children were well settled. She anticipated that life will be more beautiful in the days to come.  

The innocent wife always held onto the desire to please her husband forgetting her own dislikes. Thereby, she gradually merged her world with his. One fine evening, Rishi  asked his wife to accompany him for a business party. She readily agreed thinking it will be an opportunity to mix with his people. Besides, she will be addressed as Mrs. Rishi.

From then on, it became a regular affair where she was to accompany her husband although all the business talks went over head and  she was a misfit in their company as an innocent person is in this shrewd world. She made an attempt to communicate her displeasure to Rishi but in vain. He simply rejected her feelings citing such outings as professional  necessity.  Rida consoled herself  trying to find possibility to enjoy such environment to make Rishi and herself  comfortable.  

And there was another  business party kept at a Grand Hyatt hotel in Delhi. He introduced this news at  the dinner table on Friday night telling Rida to look her best as it counts in professional circuits. She nodded in agreement though failed to understand what he actually meant. How her “looking best” will fetch him any professional advantage? From where has this sudden disconnect between them has started creeping, she thought. Her silence merged with the darkness of the night and then  came the fateful day.

Rida gradually developed a distaste for such parties where her assigned job was to flash a plastic smile while being introduced to strangers. Nonetheless, she chose to wear a western dress as the meeting was to take place in a lounge with people enjoying drinks in the company of beautiful women hung around in the otherwise dull looking room filled with techno-geeks. Rishi was a Process Manager at the Seimen World Plant and occupied a prestigious post at his division office here.   

He was pleasantly surprised to see his Rida radiating youth at its best and hugged her telling she looked beautiful. She flashed a half-hearted smile. “Can't he read my mind for the vivid unhappiness in wearing these uncomfortable clothes and going to such parties,” she thought. Probably, the change has set in. She so far has overlooked many things which has now started surfacing in his much beloved husband and their equation. He called the cab. And they both left for the hotel.

Rishi held onto his wife in the taxi talking about his business clients and the work pressure that his job entails. And his current project which could establish him firmly provided she supports him. She nodded in agreement lest she should invite his displeasure.  After reaching the venue, he  behaved forgetting  who had he brought along. She had often faced such cold rejections in earlier business meetings also, however, this time she seemed to have made peace with it. 

Sitting in one corner in low spirits next to her husband, she somehow managed to  smile whenever he introduced her to his business colleagues. A complete lack of attention and regard by her much beloved husband suddenly let loose a can of unpleasant feelings which rose like a wave only to fall down unsupported.  Besides, feeling lonely, for the first time, she also felt unsafe in the company of her own husband. A queer silence engulfed her and she was gradually sinking into it an inch by inch; a quarter by quarter. 

Meanwhile, Rishi’s boss  Sameer Mallik asked her for a round of dance. She looked aghast and broken in spirits already with the feeling of her husband’s developing indifference towards her and with this dance! She cast a glance at Rishi to which he answered positively. She went to the dance floor and was numb lost in her own thoughts when she felt a sudden sensation around her waist. That was Sameer’s sliding hand in and around her waist. She gave a startled look to him but in vain. He was reeking in alcohol. She stayed on the floor long enough for the confirmation of her doubt whether that was a sexual advance or not. He tried to grip her tightly which made her push him on the floor and she stormed out of the lounge.

Sameer fell on the floor with the people around whispering and throwing questioning glances. Rishi rushed out and found Rida standing at the hotel lobby. Upon his enquiring, she narrated the entire episode to him where tears came off her eyes. “Its normal in these business parties for big people to behave this way sweetheart as people get high on drinks and in the company of beautiful women like you. Its pretty normal. Do not overreact,” he said consoling her .

Rida was shocked to hear such an explanation from the man who is supposed to be her protector.  Avoiding any further scene, she requested him to take her home to which Rishi refused saying “its against business protocol to  leave before dinner”.  She was infuriated and was burning with rage but she chose to observe silence lest she should invite public humiliation.

Rida felt quite uncomfortable at her husband’s insensitive remark.  She couldn’t make out the sense of Rishi ‘s words “it is normal culture”. What is “normal” in this act, she asked herself. These words were echoing in her head while she tried her best to understand and put  it in perspective.

The following week Rishi told her to accompany him for yet another business meet in Mumbai. She abhored the idea but could not muster courage to challenge it. They flew to Mumbai the next day. In the outside room, a group of people were busy having discussions over drinks and their voices seemed to merge as Rida closed the door of her room which was attached to the hall where the meeting was taking place.

 A sudden chill went down her spine and she felt so lonely as if she was the last person left on this earth.  She appeared like a helpless person who was sinking in a sea of doubts and trying to resurface but in vain. Rida was so caught up in the viscious circle of business meets in the last few months which had brought an absolute disconnect between the couple and more importantly, with herself.  

The dead silence within her and the outside merry-making seemed to have died down as the door opened with a loud noise with Rishi entering inside the room taking twisted steps. Rida’s fixed gaze broke upon seeing his figure. He came close and sat next to her on the bed.

 “You need not worry tonight my love…I may not be in a position to satisfy you but I have made an arrangement especially for you. I assure you he will deliver more than I ever could. Kindly, co-operate my love,” Rishi said while his whole body was reeking in alcohol.

At the utterance of these shocking words, Rida noticed another figure just behind Rishi and took a few seconds to place this person. It was the same business associate Sameer Mallik who made sexual advances in Delhi party last week. Rida got up and without thinking made her way out towards the door.

Rishi blocked her way and threw her on the bed leaving her under the independent charge of his client. And he stormed out locking the door from outside. Rida couldn’t believe the horrible sight; it was a shock of her lifetime. She lost her presence of mind to decide what should be done next to ensure her safety.

At the break of dawn, Sameer stepped out of the hotel room in a dishevelled clothes and made his way out. Rida laid like a dead body inside somehow managed to get her out of the hotel and ran towards a point where she could be away from this place.

Promises, love and committment every vow he had taken was burnt at that very fateful night.The sacred institution of marriage was brought down to ashes. She was scarred for life, she thought. “How could he do that to me,” she asked herself. “Why?” she found no answers.

The deep silence engulfed her very existence and she seemed to have lost track of time and place. She  stood like a lifeless body near the bank of the river. Her eyes did not wink even for a second. Her gaze was fixed at the rippled water. Her spirits were broken; so was her self-esteem.  Her soul was injured more than her body.  Her trust was raped;  confidence lost.

It is at this moment she stepped ahead to commit suicide when her own reflection made her reflect and review as to what went wrong. “Was she the one who was at fault?” she thought. The sunlight broke out from the sky and Rida looked up at the sky fixing her gaze on the light intermittently.