Won the Times Soul Curry contest!

I was engrossed in reading when a mail hits my inbox from the Times of India notifying that I have won the Soul Curry Short Story competition. Deja Vu! Moments of pure ecstasy took over my senses for the next one hour. It was quiet similar to the way I had felt when I cleared the national level test of Indian Institute of Mass Communication way back in 2009 for Print Journalism.

I hugged my mother as she was the inspiration behind this short story. She started smiling even though I had not told her yet as to why I was joyful. That’s being a mother, you see! I went ahead and kissed my father. I was jubilant to the core! Thanked Almighty for his generous support and made immediate calls to my brothers’ and husband. IIMC success celebration was much similar to this.

My mother always motivated and encouraged me to push my limits and excel beyond the set terrain.  She is the bedrock foundation of who I am. SO, I broke the news. For her, the important thing was the smile on my face. Till this date, she remains my strongest inspiration. A picture of sheer divinity! Not to mention the delicious panner buji she made especially for me to celebrate this win.

The mail read that ‘your short story has been adjudged as the winning entry and you shall be rewarded as promised’. News like this does make your day.. After all, what life is without such little joys? 

Dated :Sept 9, 2016

Swing and Sway with your baby

                                       by Priyanka Chauhan

                                                  

Women after pregnancy put fitness to back seat citing lack of time and energy as the most common reason. However, I have found my fitness trainer in my four-month-old baby.

Exercising is always fun with a companion. I found mine in none other than my teensy tiny boy. Old enough to understand his surroundings by mere observation, he made exercising such a lively activity.

I introduced a few warm-up exercises to my son one day. And it turned out to be an enjoyable experience for both of us.  Earlier working out was more like a ‘chore’ or a fast routine divorced from any drive, disclipline and devotion.

Now, the sheer motivation of a ‘new learner’ rewarding me with his generous smile fuels my willpower to get up each day. He infuses  positivity into my early morning fitness regime. That’s the end result of any work out-to generate positivity, isn’t it?

I look forward to this ‘alone time with my boy’.  The quality time spent in silence of dawn has also developed mother-child bonding, besides keeping us fit.

When I introduced yoga to my baby, he thought I was talking to him. I went on with my workout counting numbers loudly at variable pitch which kept his attention intact.

Babies, as it is, are alert during wee hours. So, I started capitalising on his unused bank of energy to make ‘our morning routines’ more interesting. Earlier, I gave a convenient excuse that I won’t be able to make time for doing ‘my things’. However, the truth is I have a little person to count on, share moments with, notice responses of, teach a few steps to, a few things to learn from.

As I did pranayama, I laid my son on yoga mat at an angle where he can easily hit his legs on mine. It was a way to track him and measure his responses to what I was doing even with eyes closed. Certain breathing exercises got major hits; while others were just about fine with him.

Rapid movements of his legs and hands made him inhale and exhale  almost like pranayama. Thus, more intake of oxygen for the baby too! If you are into weight training, then you can lift your baby and do your exercises. Yoga poses can also be executed along with the baby.

I have started allowing ‘new’ experiences to tingle me breaking all mental barriers that new mothers can’t do what they like right after child birth. ‘Newness’ made the time spent with the kid exciting and gave way to unknown expressions of love. It is beyond the existing ties.

Health brings sheer excellence in every sphere of life. And the foundation of a healthy child lies in inculcating healthy habits early on. Modelling exercises can go a long way in instilling these positive habits; making the child understand that fitness is a way of life. Such memories are sure to become part of baby’s sub-conscious mind and would naturally come into practice as he grows up.

Life is a way to celebrate with your baby not to find reasons for not doing things. Get up, greet the day with smile. As you smile, your world smiles with you.

The above piece was written for Learning and Creative magazine. 

How has Motherhood changed me

by Priyanka Chauhan

Motherhood is rightly called the second birth for a woman. I found myself born again with a fresh perspective to understand the world around me differently. Pregnancy brought me closer to life. My baby right from the time when he was in my womb taught me innumerable lessons. And I was thinking the onus of teaching him will be on me. How amateur I was in my understanding of this whole phenomenon. I have to admit though, that I took to motherhood as fish to water. I have changed for the better in following ways:

1. Cautious about diet-When I came to know about my pregnancy, I made a conscious decision to eat right. Avoided junk food. Included fresh produce, green leafy in my diet. I would google even if I were to have radish. First pregnancy tends to make you doubtful of everything you do or have. A stamp is always needed on all your actions. That's what happened with me. After careful analysis of the food, it would be palatable for me. The fact I was responsible for a life within me made me a good reader, researcher and analytical woman. Not that I was not before. The whole experience refined my existing set of qualities.

2. Think right-Think right was as important as eating was. All my thoughts will affect my baby. This thought was recurrent. Sometimes, it even caused me stress. As hormones took me on a roller-coaster ride of extreme emotions. I tried hard to keep close to this idea of maintaining positive aura. At times, I was a wreck. I would sob inconsolably. My baby reminded me of his presence and I would mellow down. Insecurities plagued me but I knew somewhere that it can't be that bad. Good things will surely happen once my baby is out.

3. Put others' need before myself-In this competitive race to achieve more, taste success and live for future, I had forgotten to acknowledge my brethren. It was always about me, my goals, my happiness and my life. With my baby's arrival, that me has been replaced with him. I think more about his comfort, his life, his activities, his smile and his aura. A remarkable lesson in the dissolution of the label 'Me' putting me back to my original essence of being- a soul. I looked at him like another soul whose needs are my responsibility.

4. Present moment- My baby taught me a valuable lesson that present is all we have. I knew this concept even before. However, the lived it after my son's birth. Day in day out, as I watched him grow, I grew myself. I was in present observing and chuckling at his growth milestones. Truly rooted in the present moment. Even if my mind meandered into past to future, my son's smile was enough to bring me back.

5. Understood my mother better- I also understood how difficult it must have been for my mother to raise three kids. Having been there and done that, I have an idea of the depth of challenges she must have faced at her time. Though, I can never match up to her candor and excellence. I try, nonetheless. My mother has been a solemn picture of patience, perseverance, unconditional love, sacrifice, a steadfast support through all the downs of my life. I could not be even half as good as she is. I will try. Ordeals of her life will serve as a guidepost for me.

6. The child in me came alive-My son is primarily a potent force for bringing me in touch with the child in me. A lost child who had forgotten what it is to live, laugh at the most silly things, and smile when there are no reasons to.His expressions, sounds and most of all, reactions are invaluable. His first reaction to chocolate, ice-cream, animal sounds, story-telling...to every new thing I  introduced him to is a lesson on originality of expression, simplicity. It is no less than reading a thriller novel. I engaged, enticed and enrapt in his theatrics all day long, Needless to say, I love it to the core.

7. Understanding of time is better- I have covered the period of pregnancy to motherhood in the last year-and-a-half. However, it feels the whole phase was like a nth portion of a nano second. Time flew past rapidly leaving behind memories. The whole control was in the hands of God. I was just the medium to be that time and space. In retrospect, I feel I have lived thousand lifetimes post motherhood.

8. Slowed down-I had been on the wheels, God knows since when. Forever competing to achieve, gain knowledge, read, write, engage with the outside world, learn its cruel lessons hard way. Fall then again rise, the incessant cycle of emotions wrestling with practicality of life all this made my life. I never knew what it would be like to Pause. Pause again. To sit and observe new life. How much enjoyable it will be to hold his little hands in mine and revel in that marvellous moment. Eureka! Yes, even as one would observe the slowest hours of one's life. Yet, remarkable in its own way to work upon the magig of slowing down.

9. Not Materialistic anymore- For someone who was always abreast with the latest in fashion, food, cinema, living life with minimalism was a natural adoption. My only requirements were food, shelter and home. I didn't desire anything else in this world. What I had with me was invaluable-my son. No object could have given me a sense of satisfaction which merely looking at my baby did.

10. Love for other children-I was never so considerate and sensitive towards other children as I am now. Thanks to my baby. I have found that soft corner hidden within me which was unexplored till this day. It was a natural evolution and I adopted all these changes readily. Motherhood constructs a pararell Universe which is beautiful.

How to reduce WhatsApp usage

In continuation with my previous post...........

In the last two years, it never occured to me that my quality of communication actually suffered. A word would trigger me to go on about things vouching in the space where the argument can not hold water. Sheer wastage of energy and time! My mother would often remark, ‘you are always on phone’. She is so right that’s the first thing I checked before I sleep and after I got up in the last two years.

Besides, reading junk information in the countless shared posts, accentuated with silly emoticans only ate my grey matter. I became mentally exhausted way too often. If there was silence in the WhatsApp world, I craved for messages like a drug addict. Seriously! Why would I want the world to peep into my everyday moments. They are too precious and private for me. I want a shield to protect my world from the external gaze.

It has been only two weeks that I have conducted this experiment to regualte my usage of WhatsApp. I need it for official communication. Sure, I do. But What I did was:

1. Set the time-I made it an unspoken rule that I will not feed on the unnecessary information sent by people at any moment. I would check the messanger twice a day: 2’oclock, 8o’clock. Why these timings? Because if there is anything urgent, I can always respond by afternoon and I would not look at my phone after 8. The day ends for me at that time. 

2. Return to Normalcy-I realised within a day of this experiment that I can feel my limbs, breathe with alertness, drink water and eat in peace without typing reply to a friend who has seen me online and now expects me to reply. More importantly, I could listen ‘my Voice’ which was lost in this cacophony. I could think about the issues which I want to; not what others are pushing me to respond to. Got back the control of my time and energy.

3. Technology in my control-The control was in my hand. I could share, respond to whoever I want within the set time frame. Using the technology, but at my convenience. I was not being steered anymore. I governed my time, my energy and my responses.

4. Mental calmness and interest in hobby-Since, I have more time at my disposal, I have started using it for my hobbies like reading, writing, gardening. I so love this new found freedom.

                                                      

Have you tried this digital detox? Tell me about your experiences.

No to WhatsApp

by Priyanka Chauhan

In continuance of my previous post 

In the last two years, it never occured to me that quality of communication actually suffered. A word would trigger me to go on about things vouching in the space where the argument can not hold water. Sheer wastage of energy and time! My mother would often remark, ‘you are always on phone’. She is so right that’s the first thing I checked before I sleep and after I got up in the last two years.

Besides, reading junk information in the countless shared posts, accentuated with silly emoticans only ate my grey matter. I became mentally exhausted way too often. If there was silence in the WhatsApp world, I craved for messages like a drug addict. Seriously! Why would I want the world to peep into my everyday moments. They are too precious and private for me. I want a shield to protect my world from the external gaze.

It has been only two weeks that I have conducted this experiment to regualte my usage of WhatsApp. I need it for official communication. Sure, I do. But What I did was:

1. Set the time-I made it an unspoken rule that I will not feed on the unnecessary information sent by people at any random moment. I would check the messanger twice a day: 2’oclock, 8o’clock. Why these timings? Because if there is anything urgent, I can always respond by afternoon and I would not look at my phone after 8. The day ends for me at that time.

2. Return to Normalcy-I realised within a day of this experiment that I can feel my limbs, breathe with alertness, drink water and eat in peace without typing reply to a friend who has seen me online and now expects me to reply. More importantly, I could listen ‘my Voice’ which was lost in this cacophony. I could think about the issues which I want to; not what others are pushing me to respond to. Got back the control of my time and energy.

3. Technology in my control-The control was in my hand. I could share, respond to whoever I want within the set time frame. Using the technology, but at my convenience. I was not being steered anymore. I governed my time, my energy and my responses.

4. Mental calmness and interest in hobby-Since, I have more time at my disposal, I have started using it for my hobbies like reading, writing, gardening. I so love this new found freedom.

Have you tried this digital detox? Tell me about your experiences.

No to WhatsApp!

by Priyanka Chauhan

I have been always quite against the excessive usage of social media in whichever form, mode or medium. I remember having seconds thoughts about downloading WhatsApp in 2014, two years back. For someone who always guarded privacy, this was a big step.

The buzz around that time was ‘Are you on WhatsApp’? Almost every person I knew would ask me this question. Not using this service meant social boycott by friends and netizens. My friends cajoled me to be on WhatsApp, just as I was pushed by my friends to join Orkut in 2005 when its popularity faded, came the New Age communication king Facebook.

After much dilly-dallying, I installed WhatsApp. I have never had a moment of respite since this demon came into my life. My phone is a victim of amnesia. It doesn’t know the serenity of  a blank screen without any pending messages. I am robbed of the joy which my phone and I enjoyed earlier which left me a soothing feeling.

My phone forever on notification mode of messages from people, who better rest just as   ‘Contacts’ in my phone directory. I don’t care what joke, however funny it may be, barging into my space when I am reading, eating, or sleeping.

In hindsight, I noticed my mind got trained to check  WhatsApp messages every five minutes, even in the middle of night. Morning rituals, too, gradually shifted from silent prayers to sending ‘Good Morning’ messages embellished with emoticans of bouquets and flowers to people, friends group who would still be my friends if I did not waste precious ten minutes right at the start of my day. That time is sacred. Then, a couple of times more to check back if they replied. What was the purpose of such greetings? Can it ever replace the warmth of greeting someone face-to-face ot to say the least calling up that person. I became like this because I let the technology unmeasured.

Throughout the day, I will look at least hundred times to even insignificant messages and would also read them instead of thinking my original thoughts. Also would invest time in first checking the display picture and reading the status followed by random thoughts on what I was looking at.  That would account to voila! hours of wastage, if I were to do the Maths.

Not only this, the primary purpose to facilitate communication. Here, I realised too much was happening, mostly meaningless. The chat thread got longer and longer from whats up to what you ate,  devoid of any heart-to heart-communication. In fact, frequency of calls from friends came down as it became a matter of great convenience to drop a’hi’ and ‘bye’. I hardly receive calls from my close friends. They just communicate via this evil App.

I have had so much negativity flowing out through this messanger that I wish I had stopped it much earlier. A message from a friend would go on to become an endless chat with inconclusive matter ripped open like a wound. Precious time, mental peace, would be the immediate casualties. Be in queue, at workplace, home or anywhere on this earth, I will click onto the Green colour monstrous App.

                        An aromatic romance with flower tea

by Priyanka Chauhan

A cup of tea early morning preps one up for the whole day. The simmering romance with it elevates both body and spirit pressing right notes at the right time. A day, thus,  started at an octave note certainly yields high results. And if tea is brewed with flowers, a regular sunrise blooms into a magical morning.    

I woke up to the sight of my mother making her morning cup with white and orange flowers in tea vessel. “Flowers! How will you drink these as your tea,” I asked her. She told me, these flowers are no ordinary ones. They have been carefully picked up from a tree called Night Jasmine, ‘Har Sringhar’ in Hindi. As the name suggests, these flowers bedecks temples and are used in worshipping.   

Herbal tea, especially the one with fresh flowers, is bereft of any addiction. My mother has found peace with this tea. Addictive, sure she is, but to its freshness, saffron-orange colour and numerous health benefits. Or else if she did not get her four am tea, a cup she swears by, a queer restlessness sinks in, often resulting into headache. The presence of nicotine does create withdrawl symptoms.

One tea but million benefits. Heals arthrities, glows skin, helpful in headaches, treats sinus, anti-dote to cough, removes fatigue, besides energising body. More so, dessicated flowers also treat stomach disorders and acne.

In China and Taiwan, herbal tea is an important accompaniment to food. Known for its digestive properties, it is an intrinsic part of their food culture. India too is the largest producer of tea but its herbal content have gone amiss of late. In the name of herbal tea, green tea with dried shrubs are promoted with hardly any freshness to it. Why not try the fresh produce from the tree itself?

The steps to make this aromatic and addictive concoction are fairly simple: pick flowers, boil and filter. However picking ‘Queen of the Night’, another name for the flower, is also an art. They can be plucked from terminal shoots where they grow in clusters. This approach though renders the flowers useless owing to its delicate structure; they get mishmashed. The better way, as my mother says, spread a sheet beneath the tree and hold its branch and give it a shake. They will sprinkle like Autumn leaves. The happiness in giving them a fair destiny which they deserve is a satisfaction in itself, she says. Or else as sun rises, they fade away to glory. Purposeless!

The flowers bloom late evening filling air with its enchanting fragrance and fall away before the Sun rises. The shrub, popularly known as the ‘Tree of Sorrow’ due to a folk tale of a princess who fell in love with the Sun who later deserted her. Unable to bear separation, the princess killed herself and was cremated. The tree rose from her ashes and believed to be reason for it to bloom only after sunset. It avoids the sight of Sun.  

Once the flowers are picked though, they are rinsed thoroughly with water to get rid of tiny insects or pollens. The washed flowers are then boiled with water. A perfect potion for diabetic patients as natural glucose in flowers desolves the need for any artificial one. The orange corolla tubes lends texture and natural colour to the tea churning a fine balance of freshness, nutrition and taste.   

Normal tea dehydrates whereas the flower tea cuminates all five senses which attracts a human being. The serene sight of sprinkled flowers on a wad of grass, the tender touch of delicate petals, the natural scent of goodness when enjoyed in the silence of wee hours is sheer delight. An experience par sublime!

A natural antidote to stress, it embellishes where ever they are used. In a bowl full of water, tea, medicine, garlands, ornaments, religious purposes. Uses are aplenty.  

I have come across people who are finicky about their morning cup of tea. The ritual is sacred for them. First of all they, do want it every morning without fail. Secondly, the tea should be served in their own peculiar way. For instance, a friend of mine Rashi Lal, who hails from Lucknow, always had mugs of tea. I happened to have enjoyed one such cup during college days braving the chilly Delhi winters. She wanted less milk and more water in her tea. My mother, if she takes the normal tea, likes more milk in it. While my neighbour would savour it really strong with more tea in it. For some, the rule is tea in my style or no tea at all. It completely puts them off. Night jasmine, however, is a healthy alternative to such peculiarities. There is no second way to make this tea. Just boil it and drink. Fairly Simple!

The beautiful, 2-3 cm sized flowers, have a snowy white corolla with eight petals and a strikingly bright orange coloured corolla tube. The flowers are seasonal and bloom only till November. Its leaves are equally fragrant though and can also be used for brewing your morning cupful of ambrosia. 

Legend has it that Lord Krishna brought this exotic plant from heaven to earth. Sathyabhama quarrelled for its possession and won. Krishna is said to have planted the tree in Sathyabhama’s palace taking care to ensure that the flowers fell inside Rugmini’s courtyard to the delight of his more beloved wife.

So, next time a guest comes over, serve this rare flavour in lieu of traditional chai. He would never forget the fragrance of the served beverage and the warmth of your hospitality. Let the flower of your life bloom and dance to the rhythm of life.